Confidence: How to Boost Your Belief In Yourself
by Coach Megan Wyatt
The good news is that confidence isn't something entirely outside of your control and boosting it isn't as hard as you might think.
Start with Your Intrinsic Value
As a human being you have intrinsic value because Allah made you. He designed you to know Him, He knows your name, your thoughts, your needs, your aspirations, your wounds, and your future.
He knows you and you matter to Him. When you speak to Him, He listens. When you perform Salah, He turns towards you and listens and responds. Allah is not a Creator who is distant or far off somewhere.
To be confident means to know you are valuable and that you matter. There may be people in your life who you desperately wish could treat you with greater love, attention, appreciation, or recognition.
With or without them - your value doesn't diminish with your Lord. So the root of feeling confident begins with Him.
Be Grateful For What Allah Made Easy For You
I promise you that there are things you do with ease that someone else is working on within themselves. Your "it comes naturally to me" thing is someone else's du'a, goal, and daily effort.
Recognizing that there are areas where you can confidently do something helps boost your awareness that you are not just your flaws or shortcomings but rather a whole person. A person who succeeds at many things and can be reliable to others in specific areas.
When you pause to consider these things you will find that your confidence increases but so does your gratitude to Allah!
If something is easy for you, natural for you, even if you worked hard at it years ago but now it's auto-pilot this is from Allah. Something natural in your character, personality, and disposition is from Allah and relying on those parts of you are areas you can feel confident about!
Own Your Shortcomings For Yourself
Part of becoming more confident is owning the shortcomings and struggles you know you have. Everyone has something they are struggling with or striving to improve. That makes you human!
Owning that for yourself removes the feeling of being "found out" or the fear of being shamed by someone else. It's becoming comfortable with your whole self vs. trying to convince everyone around you that you have things all figured out.
As someone who is a seasoned speaker, many people were surprised by that! I wanted to share that to inspire other people to know it's ok struggle at times.
Being confident doesn't mean not ever feeling anxious, worried, or insecure. It means owning it and making space for it but not being defined by difficult feelings.
If we were all a little more open about things we feel challenged by wouldn't it make it safer for others to feel better about their own challenges?
Find Greater Confidence By Relying on Allah
Relying on Allah is, I believe, the greatest source of confidence any of us can have. It means moving beyond trying to rely on ourselves and our own efforts alone to turning to the One who is in control of the heavens, the earth, and our own hearts.
Trusting in Allah is an act of the heart that gives strength to a believer because they know that no matter what the outcome, if their intentions are good, they will have gained something in the process.
You might succeed, and be grateful to Allah.
You might fail, and turn to Allah for help.
As long as you know that anything and everything you can and will do is from Allah you can see beyond yourself and your limits.
If Allah wants something for you, no one can stop it.
If Allah hasn't willed something for you yet, no one can make it happen
Know That Confidence Isn't Arrogance
When 'Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (may Allah have mercy upon him) ) led the Muslims to pray for the first time outside the ka'abah, he was confident, not arrogant.
When Salman Al-Farsi (may Allah have mercy upon him) suggested building a trench (khandaq) around Medina to protect the Muslims and city from attack he was confident, not arrogant.
When a woman stood up and corrected Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (may Allah have mercy upon him) when he was khalifah while making a public statement about dowries, she was confident, not arrogant.
When Our Mother Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) rejected numerous marriage proposals from powerful men in Mecca she was confident, not arrogant.
When she sent word to see if the Prophet Muhammad (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) might consider her for marriage she was confident, not arrogant.
Praying in public spaces where many non-Muslims can see me isn't an act of arrogance. But it is an act of confidence because I know Who I am praying to and Who He is compared to all the other human beings who might be judging me.
And so I am granted confidence to pray and be known as a Muslim.
Arrogance pulls you away from Allah and you praise Him less for what you accomplish.
Confidence pulls you closer because you are inclined to do more good for His sake, rely on Him, ask Him for help, and praise Him when you are successful.
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